Getting back to myself

I'm going back to work monday!?!?! I know, what???

The peanut will be nine months on Monday and I will be dropping her off at my mom's and going back to work.

This sounded like a good idea when the hubby and I talked about it say at the beginning of the summer, now... I'm not completely sure.

I'm super happy to go back and get into a new routine, finding myself again and balancing the whole worklife / familylife thing, but at the same time I'm feeling guilty.

I have been taking on some clients here and there for the past 3 or so months, but this is different. This is everyday, nine to five and then running around selling homes, doing open houses and hustling for clients on top of all of that. I'm a little bit excited and then I feel guilty that I'm excited. Has this happened to any of you?

I am really lucky to have my mom as the peanut's caregiver during the day, day in and day out - I thank my lucky stars all the time - I guess this eases my leaving the peanut guilt, since I'm not leaving her with a stranger and know that she'll be well taken care of.

It's just that the Peanut is doing all these crazy things now that I don't want to miss, she's crawling up a storm and cruzing by holding onto furniture and moving around like that. She blows kisses and gives hugs on request and she babbles like a madwoman. I'm afraid I'm going to miss all the big stuff, although my mom says that I won't at all.

I am also lucky to have a career that is pretty flexible and I can come and go as I please, the only thing is that the more time I am able to put into it, the more fulfilling and financially rewarding it is. Money is something that isn't in the forefront of our life, but it does help in continuing with the things we are accustomed to and will come in handy for all of the renovations and updating we need to do in the house.

So how did you all cope with going back? What about the "getting out the door" routine? I'm wondering how that's going to be... guess I'll find out on Monday.

Wish me luck!